Save the Drama For Ya Mama

One thing I’ve learned to let go of in my late 20’s: DRAMA. Now don’t get me wrong, getting all the “tea” and watching people “throw shade” can be entertaining at times, which is probably why reality TV is so popular, but be that as it may, I’ve outgrown it for the most part. Meaning, I don’t mind listening to my sister go on an on about the crazy things her coworkers do now and then, but I don’t want to be directly involved if that makes any sense. I’d prefer using that juicy gossip as a storyline in a book I want to write or something.

Gossipy people tend to take things too far; they like to fill in the gaps where they do not have all the information. Then the gullible person will take that information and run with it or probably add to it, and by the time they’re done, you have this incredible, yet false, story that’s been entirely concocted from what could have easily been an completely innocent encounter. Rinse and repeat.

It’s exhausting. People who do this are exhausting.

I had to detach myself from decade-long friendship with a woman who wouldn’t let the drama go. Even as the relationship was ending and she was basically telling me what a shitty friend I was, all I could think of doing was giving her a standing ovation for her failed attempt to manipulate the situation in her favor. You can’t treat people badly and then turn around and feign sympathy when they call you out. You can’t use the “I’m going through something” excuse when you are ALWAYS going through something. As I’ve gotten older people like this have lost me because 1) you can’t turn every single situation into the Attention-Seeking Olympics and not expect people get tired of it and 2) Everyone goes through things. EVERYONE. Some of us don’t feel a compulsive need to shout it from a rooftop every 5 seconds.

I am sure many people can relate to this, but my friend’s list has gotten shorter as I’ve gotten older and I am content with the small group of friends that I have. The people I keep around me are not needy, dramatic, self-absorbed, reckless, dense, and unaccountable. But rather they are smart, funny, driven, goal-oriented, and focused.  I actually keep a small list of people with whom I choose not to get too close to:

– People who need to talk to me every day in order to feel like the relationship is “real” (I’m an introvert, too much small talk drains me; and I’m busy, don’t you have something to do? Let me miss you.)
– People who gossip all of the time, especially about other people they claim are their “friends,”
-Couples who make up to break up
-People who feel comfortable badmouthing others behind their backs but will never attempt to solve whatever issue they have with the other person directly.
-Folks who regurgitate information without having all of the facts
-Attention whores

Those are just a few turnoffs that I have. Lorenzo’s list is even longer than mine. I know it may feel like we are anti-social but we are just protecting our space. Keeping these kinds of people at a distance is good for my sanity. I’ve learned over the years that there are some people who are just not worth it.


A Quick Trip to Destin

This past weekend Lorenzo finally got a chance to take me out of town for a few days, and it was quite lovely. It took us about 5 1/2 hours to drive to Destin, and we stayed at the Hilton Sandestin Beach Golf Resort on Miramar Beach.  The hotel was beautiful, very family friendly, with restaurants and a private beach. While we were walking around, I noticed there was a Strong Bonds event taking place in the ballrooms. Strong Bonds is a program that the military has for married and sometimes single soldiers. They offer classes on resilience for example and how to apply these things to your marriage.

I’ve never been to a Strong Bonds event with Lorenzo, but I did complete one when I first came home from Iraq. I took my brother and sister to Orlando with me, and we had classes all day, mostly on integrating back into civilian life. I assume the Strong Bonds events have a similar theme.

Saturday morning after breakfast, Lorenzo and I hung out on the beach for a few hours. I don’t have many pictures because once again I forgot to purchase a waterproof case to protect my phone (I ordered one on Monday, so next time I’ll be prepared). That afternoon we went to the Silver Sands Premium Outlets, which was about a 6-minute drive from the hotel.

While at the outlet we went into an old bookstore where I found a vegetarian cookbook for $6. Even though I sometimes use the Yummly and Tasty apps for inspiration sometimes they are annoying to comb through. I figured I could use the book as part of this blog. I’ll go through the recipes and write about the food (how it turned out and if Lorenzo likes them of course).

I wasn’t a complete vegetarian while on vacation though. Lorenzo and I have a rule that when we are on vacation diets go out of the window and day drinking is encouraged. For dinner, we went to Seagars Prime Steaks & Seafood, which was located inside the hotel (it was wildly convenient). We sat at the bar and ordered the Quail and Duck appetizer, I had the filet mignon, and Lorenzo had the steamed lobster.  I’ve never had quail before (I’ve had quail egg), but it’s just a little mini chicken. The last time I had red meat was back in December when I was in New York and had dinner at this Brazilian restaurant with my coworkers. They had a prefixed menu, so I was either having steak or chicken, and I was not about to eat chicken with okra on it. I will say that the filet tasted so much better without the judgmental stares and comments of my then newly vegan friend. I still ate the steak though…


Anyway, on Sunday we just jumped in the car and got back to Atlanta in time to see our brother in law who was celebrating his birthday. Not too bad for a weekend without homework or responsibility.

This week is back to the grind though- 3-day military weekend, following by a two week even in Missouri next week. I’m tired just thinking about it.

Why Can’t I Get Up In The Morning?


This is something I remember one of my drill sergeants saying when I was in basic training after they’d kept us out until 2 AM the night before and had us up again at 6 AM to start that day of training. The first thing I remember thinking was, “Of course we do more than most people, there are 200 of us, we get up at 4 AM, work out, shower, eat, and start class or training by 8 AM. Everyone can get a lot of things done by 9 if you are getting up at 4!”.  But of course I knew better than to say that out loud, but the point remains.

I am not a morning person; I don’t like to get up early if I don’t have to. I don’t like to get up early when I have to. My bed is my FRIEND, and I don’t understand why I am torn away from my friend on a daily basis. Most days I sleep really well and believe it or not every time I have to get up early for training or every time I have to leave home for a few days, I have a hard time falling asleep. I always have this irrational fear that I am going to oversleep and miss formation; I’ve even had dreams about it. It hasn’t happened once in 19 years, but my body refuses to believe otherwise.

But on a typical day when I’m comfortable, I can’t get out of bed. I’ve tried leaving my alarm across the room so I would have to get up to get it; I usually walk right back to the bed. I set the alarm multiple times, but have mastered how to shut it off without opening my eyes. I even ask Lorenzo to wake me up, but the way he does it makes me think he wants something else and I then get mad; once he got out of bed and was literally trying to drag me as I kicked him (he was okay).

I swear I get THE best sleep about an hour before I’m supposed to get up. I mean I would love, love, love to get up early and go to the gym. I even managed to do it once or twice (it was literally twice). But, I don’t know…I don’t know what to do. I would love to be one of those chipper, happy, and productive morning people, but the truth is you won’t get the best of me until after 10 AM…and before 10 PM.

I Hate People

So over the weekend, Lorenzo met some of his friends at a bar for drinks. He was scheduled to do his reserve training this weekend and a few of the guys wanted to get together Friday night. I am not sure where he was but he called me on Saturday to come switch cars with him. I was going to go by his unit to say hello because I had to go on base anyway, but it was unusual for him to want to switch cars. Apparently some assholes were going around breaking into people’s cars and they got his and a few others. They broke his window on the driver side and stole his wallet and some cologne (I’m not sure what kind of weirdo would steal someone’s cologne, but whatever).

I kind of yelled at Lorenzo for leaving his wallet in his car because I never understood why he does that in the first place.  I felt bad afterwards and apologized, but I remember saying that to him a long time ago. My fear was someone stealing the car with all his information, so not only would they have our car but then they would know where we lived as well. Fortunately, his drivers license wasn’t in the wallet but his military ID, and credit cards were. There was A LOT of activity almost immediately after it happened. He called in to report everything, but we were still seeing them using our debit card trying to shop online Sunday night.

Even though I know that this could’ve happened to anyone and even thought I’m happy no one was hurt, it still makes me angry that people do things like this. Its just such a low-life thing to do. People get up everyday and go to work for their money, and they work hard to save and buy the things that they need and want and it really burns my grits that there are others out there who think they can just take whatever they want without consequence. That’s why I hate when people I know who don’t work as hard as we do will just request things (usually money) with the assumption “You got it”. As if I don’t have bills to pay, or needs and goals of my own. And it’s usually from a person who doesn’t even put in half the effort that you do into their own jobs (if they even have one) or are too busy spending their own money on the wrong things. Now, this does not include those that are truly in need. Everyone falls on hard times every now and again, which is understandable, and I don’t have a problem helping others who genuinely need it, but there are some others….whew…I just can’t.

Lorenzo is such an inspiration to me because he always handles things really well. For him, this is a learning lesson and an extreme inconvenience. He’ll be getting a rental this week while his car is getting repaired and his credit card company has been great with refunding his money and getting him a new card. He just has to follow up with everything and continue to monitor his accounts.

Let this be a lesson. Don’t leave your wallet in the car… or at least have your credit card companies on speed dial on your phone.