I’m Quiet, but I’m Secretly Judging You

Growing up I had a really bad case of diarrhea of the mouth. I literally didn’t think before I spoke which always prompted my father to say, “P, think before you speak.” I didn’t know what he meant by this. Other adults in my life just dubbed me as a “smart ass”instead of just either engaging my curiosity or just telling me they didn’t know; I think it was just easier for them to get angry and make it seem like something was wrong with me for asking questions. I realized later on that some of the things I used to say were kind of hurtful and overly opinionated, when I just thought I was being honest.

Even though I’ve never been one to sugar coat, I have learned that not every action deserves my reaction. Just because someone is venting to me, it doesn’t mean that they are asking for my opinion on the matter (I’ve actually gotten to the point that I don’t even offer an opinion unless it’s asked of me). Some of my friends and I have had disagreements because of my “direct” and “honest” approach. I just don’t feel like I should validate your feelings just because we’re friends- if I think you’re wrong, then I’m going to say that. People really don’t get much sympathy from me when they complain about things they can’t control- and its even worse when they complain about things they CAN control but choose not to do anything about it. Like…what?

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So now, I just let people talk. I let people say crazy things while I just blink and stare because: A)  it doesn’t directly affect me, B) I’m not going to do anything about it, and nor do I want to, or C) they really don’t know they’re talking about and its a complete waste of my time to try to persuade anyone’s opinion. So I don’t say anything when people tell me their crazy weight loss plans of starving themselves for a few weeks, instead of eating foods that are actually good for you and exercising; or that they are “too old” to learn to eat better. I say nothing as people tell my husband and I how we should plan our lives, spend our money, and how many potential children we should have. I keep quiet as people get extremely emotional about things that will have zero effect on them, like how celebrities choose to spend their money (Lorenzo actually laughs at people who do this on social media).

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Even though I’ve learned to control my brain-to-mouth filter, I’m still secretly judging some of you. Just know that. I think most people are full of it and don’t know how to practice critical thinking skills. Some people need to learn to look at the bigger picture, others need to do research before spewing out half truths  mixed with personal opinions as if they’re actual facts (Seriously, just because someone is loud or aggressive about a point doesn’t mean they’re right). It all just reminds me of a quote by Abraham Lincoln-

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

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