A quote you try to live by
I think there are few quotes that I live by, but if I can think of the one that sticks with me the most it would be:
“No one is going to take care of you better than you will.”
This quote keeps me independent. It reminds me all the time that if I want something for my life that I have to go out and get it for myself. It makes sure that I never put my future, my safety, or my happiness in the hands of anyone else. This quote also reminds me that while having other people take care of you is nice, they will never do things the way you can do it for yourself. You may feel that you deserve to have a Ruth’s Chris steak while someone else may only think you only deserve a Big Mac. (Getting rid of people like that is an entirely different conversation but the point still stands)
I think I first began to realize this when I was a kid and my parents split up. I didn’t understand what was going on entirely but I saw how much my mother struggled with us after they split up because she was financially dependent on him and didn’t have a back up plan. Her own personal choices kept her from reaching her full potential because she was stubborn, proud, and unorganized-a bad combination. Sometime during those years, I told myself that I would do whatever it is I had to do to have the best possible life for myself. My plan never included another person because I didn’t want to have to depend on anyone else to give me anything. I didn’t want to wait for other people to do things for me that I could’ve done for myself.
Of course when I met Lorenzo, there was a bit of a power struggle at first. I was so used to doing things myself that I didn’t know how to let him help me because I never expected him to help me. Over the years I’ve learned to let go a little, but in the back of my head I always remind myself not to become too dependent on him because I should know how to do thing myself.
This quote also reminds me that its okay to be a little selfish sometimes and there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself. I’ve spend a large majority of my life taking care of other people. I have finally reached a point where the only person I have to worry about is myself and even now I have to remind myself that its okay to do nice things for myself or have nice things. I work very hard and I have been working since I was 17 but every now and again I have to remind myself that I deserve to be happy.
There are other quotes that I love, mostly motivational and inspiring but for the most part, this is the one that sticks with me the most.
Bullet your entire day
Its funny that this topic landed on today’s date because I actually had something to do today. I think it will be more interesting than: woke up, went down stairs, worked, ate, went to the gym, ate dinner, watched TV, went to bed. I had drill today, which put a few more items on my plate.
- 0515 hrs: woke up and got dressed
- 0600 hrs: left for training
- 0700 hrs: had a staff meeting
- 0830 hrs: went to the ID building to get my card fixed
- 0930 hrs: had a weapons training class
- 1130 hrs: went to lunch
- 1230 hrs: went BACK to the ID card place because the reset didn’t fix my issue, just for them to tell me that they CAN’T fix my issue. I did have a nice conversation with a civilian.
- 1330 hrs: back to the building
- 1400 hrs: meeting with the Brigade Commander about the unit morale
- 1600 hrs: formation to be released
- (fixed my ID card issue)
- 1700 hrs: headed home
- 1800 hrs: arrived home, changed, and went to the supermarket to purchase items for a Thanksgiving Day lunch we are having tomorrow
- 1900 hrs: had dinner with Lorenzo and fixed my hair for tomorrow
- 2045 hrs: type this post
- TBD: shower and bed
I also did a good amount of walking today according to my watch which is good. This is so much more interesting than me talking about working from home. 🙂
Three Pet Peeves
Today I get to talk about how people annoy me. Yay!
One pet peeve of mine that has bothered me since grade school is when people lick their fingers to separate paper. I completely understand the reasoning behind it but it just makes me cringe. I don’t want to touch paper that someone has put their saliva on. Gross.
When I was in high school and got my first office job there was a woman I worked with who used a rubber thimble thingy to separate her papers and I thought it was the greatest thing ever. I also remember getting a lot of paper cuts on that job. But I digress.
A second pet peeve of mine are people who brown nose. It’s just so fake and ingenuine. I find it hard to work with people like that because you can’t trust them. I was in the army with a guy like this. It was in the early 2000’s when I was a PFC. We got a new guy out of Basic who seems like a nice guy but I guess he didn’t like all the practical jokes all the other guys used to participate in. So he distanced himself and would only try to be up under the senior leaders. A lot of them knew he was a brown-noser and really didn’t give him any attention, but it made the rest of the guys really hate him. I guess he figured if he moved up in rank fast enough it would force everyone to respect him, but it had the complete opposite result. He ended up transferring to another unit shortly after he was promoted to Sergeant. Oh well.
Pet Peeve #3 is kind of hypocritical of me to talk about because I hate when other people do it, but I do it myself sometimes. I don’t like drama queens/liars. I get that sometimes a little flair and theatrics from people is not necessarily a bad thing but I realized as I got older that having friends like this is exhausting. I know that I can be a drama queen sometimes, especially when I’m sick, but I’m talking about people who LIVE for the drama. I used to have a friend who would turn everything into a drama fest. It got to a point where I thought she was simply making up things to complain about, just so she could SAY she had drama in her life. When I realized I wanted my life to be more peaceful and stopped participating in the gossip, our relationship became strained. It was the best breakup ever.
People who lie unnecessarily are the worst too because 100% of the time they don’t have to. I have a family member that lies about little harmless things that she thinks people won’t figure out. Even though I don’t say much I’m pretty intuitive and I pick up on things like that. I love her, but it makes it hard to trust her because its like, “Dude, who are you trying to impress?”
I can’t take it.
Your life in 7 years
This should be fun.
In seven years it will be 2025 and I will be well into my 40’s. I don’t know if I will still be living in Georgia because Lorenzo is the kind of guy who will take an opportunity in another state if he needed to. He also mentions every now and then how he would like to live in San Diego and now New York, because my job is there. None of that is written in stone, but he has been asking me lately where I want to live next.
I want to be working in my field, you know, giving this Master’s Degree a test drive. And I most definitely want have at least written a book by then or have at least started on one. I have a friend who asks me why haven’t I started my own business yet. I think its because I haven’t found that product or service that I’m passionate about selling just yet, so if I do discover what that is then I’m sure I’ll pursue it.
I want to have had traveled more, especially internationally. I have laundry list of places I want to see but it always depends on where I am with my career. I am going to be retired from the Army by then, I mean it this time. Lorenzo will be out of the Marine Corps. as well.
I really don’t see children in our future but I’m hoping to get some more education under my belt, with either another degree or a certification of some sort within my field. My nieces will be older an I would love to be able to put money aside for them for college if they decide to go. I’m hoping that one of my siblings gives me a nephew by then.
I’m very optimistic about the future.
Your commute to and from school/work etc.
This is going to be really easy. When I am in Georgia, which is the majority of the year, my commute to work is going from my bedroom, downstairs to the first floor and then to the office space I’ve set up for myself in the front of the house.
I work from home 5 days a week.
About twice year I come back to New Jersey to spend time with my family and go into the office so that I can show my face. My boss likes to tease me about watching soap operas and The Price is Right all day, so I wanted to show that I can make an effort to get out of the house once in a while.
When I am here my commute is a bit more complicated. I normally stay with my sister Morgan so that I can spend some time with my niece Jordin. I have to walk 1 mile from her house to the Hudson-Bergen LightRail station (I tracked it on my phone a few times), I take this train all the way to Hoboken, where I take the Path train to 33rd Street in New York City. Once I get into Manhattan I have two options: I can either walk a mile and a half to Rockefeller Center or I can take the Metro and get on the either the B, D, M, for F trains to the 47-50th St Rockefeller Center Station.
I’ve gotten so used to working from home that I wonder how I used to do this everyday when I was living here. My walk to the LightRail station always varied depending on where we lived, but once I started to track the distance, I figured out how I was able to stay so thin. I was probably walking up to 5 miles a day during the week just to get back and forth to work.
When I moved to Georgia and I was able to drive everywhere. I used to drive 30 minutes to Alpharetta and then started working from home. When I was in school my campus was 15 minutes from my house and another campus took 45 minutes to get to because I had to travel during rush our. I started taking online classes when I took the New York job, only so I could travel and still get my work done.
Doing my military drills is a 40 minute drive from the house, but its once a month so I can’t complain.
Two words/phases that make you laugh
I’m too goofy to pick just two. New jokes and phrases are popping up every few weeks so its hard to stay on top of them. One of my brother’s is a wannabe comedian so anytime I talk to him there is something new he likes to tease me about.
So I just recently started watching The Office a few weeks ago (I know, don’t judge me please) and a lot of the things that my brother used to say YEARS ago is finally making sense to me. “That’s what she said” is the first thing that comes to mind because he used to say it the most.
My siblings and I will toss out movie references any chance we get and you’re nothing but a loser if you haven’t seen the movie in order to get the joke. You’re the absolute worst if you ruin a joke. We have this running inside joke where we just randomly call each other ugly or just pick on each other about things that don’t make sense (i.e. we talk about each others parents as if we don’t have the same parents).
To other people we are being mean to each other but to us, its just how we communicate. Whenever I introduce “outsiders” to them I have to warn them about how we speak to each other. Its weird. I have a friend that I wanted to invite to my graduation party but I had to tell him in advance that he needed to have thick skin to be around them, no one is exempt. They tease poor Lorenzo about the way he talks all the time (I mentioned in another post that Lorenzo’s southern accent escapes him sometimes). So its like, once you’re in the family…you’re one of us.
One of us…one of us…one of us….
Your current relationship; if single discuss that too
By now it should be no secret that I am married. As of today, I have been married to Lorenzo for three years. Our anniversary is May 27th. We wanted to get married on May 25th but it was Memorial Day and the courthouse was closed.
Can I be honest? I never really saw marriage in my future as an adult. When I was Y&D (young and dumb) I thought I wanted to be married and kids were always optional, because I thought that’s what I was “supposed” to do. Once I started dating, however, I started to come to the realization that it might not ever happen because the men I was coming across were just…*sigh*. Lets just say it wasn’t meant to be.
When I came home from Iraq I wasn’t dating anyone. I’d met a guy the year before and we kept in touch while we were deployed but right before I came home I was just done with him. He couldn’t make up his mind about what he wanted and I really wasn’t with the whole “I want to date you but not be your boyfriend, but I don’t want you do date anyone else, but were not in a relationship” foolishness. So when my friend Tia called me and asked how I felt about being in along distance relationship I was alright with it.
Lorenzo is very mature, hardworking, and sophisticated. He’s from South Carolina, but doesn’t have an accent. When we used to talk on the phone I never believed that he was from SC until every now and again he’d let his roots slip. Lorenzo and I have a lot in common: we are both in the military, we both like to work towards a common goal, we both like to travel and eat. Our relationship was long distance for the first two years so there were plenty of long nights of us just talking and really getting to know each other. He brings out my best qualities and makes me want to rethink all my bad ones. He pushes me to be great and I want nothing but the best for him. Most of our conversation revolves around managing our finances, work, improving our lives and how to improve our the lives of our loved ones, and travel. There is always a plan, and continuous communication.
While our relationship is not “perfect”, it definitely works for us. We’ve both had some dating horror stories that we use as lessons learned about how to handle our marriage. We don’t allow others to interfere or influence how we treat each other or the decisions that we make for us. We are honest with each other, even when it hurts.